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My name is Roger piggy Malone and I am a local media celebrity and the voice of Sport. During the 70's and 80's I strode across the local media like a colossus. Of course now its all ITV 3 and ITV 6. Playing to the unwashed love. So in true showbiz fashion I flounced off until they call me and beg me to come back. Its been a while. Being the centre off all things local and sporting and media I have no favourites. Be they Swinedon six toed sister marriers, Yeovile Whicker Man building hairy faced cider abusers or Rovers
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What was your first game?
The Somme 1914. Christmas day. England 46 Germany 35. We played an interesting 3,500-6,800-4,500 that day with a tank as the sweeper.
Describe the most memorable and the worst game you have seen and why?
As my memory is as shot to bits as the rest of my brains it has to be the play off semi final against Hartlepool as both the best and the worst. The best, well we won. The worst, we nearly didn't. The best, two late goals. The worst, supplied and delivered by Christian Roberts who I had spent most of the season badmouthing and up to that point I was sticking pins in my Roberts voodoo doll to try to get him subbed. How I laughed as I was beaten into a pulp by programmes and small children.
Who are your current local rivals and why?
Ashton Park School. Or Yeovile. Legend has it there once was another team that played in the same league as us once. But they havn't shown their miserable faces around here for ages.
Who are the best and worst players you have seen?
The holy trinity. The Father Bob 'God' Taylor, the son Paul 'the Cheese' Cheesley, and the holy ghosting past another defender Daruiz Dzankanowski. Laziest showboating drunken Polish waster I have ever seen. But he made me cry.
How did you fare last season?
Our 1st season with Brian Tinman at the helm we finished 1 point outside the playoffs. Then Tinman went nuts and we had to have him put to sleep.
Where do you think you’ll finish up this season?
Bitter
If Bristol City were a TV personality, who would it be and why?
Any one of these sad fading buggers that appear on 'Celebrity Throw Me Out Of A Plane Into A Pit Of Dogshit' kind of programmes. We were got to the top just the once. In 1976. Ever since then we think we are still there and keep turning up on Sky as a sleeping giant.
So what do you think of The Millers?
Glenn I liked. Don't think Jimmy Stewart did him justice. Lee went to Scotland. Scored a few and vanished. Bit like Glenn really.
Which current or former Millers player has impressed you the most?
I remember seeing Paolo Vernazza playing for Watford and thinking "I bet someone comes in for him, realises he's crap, and sticks him out on loan-hope that never happens to us" Three words for you. 'Michael' 'Bridges' and 'Carlisle'
Are you happy with your chairman and board members?
Well I think we have upset them by turning up. So to teach us a lesson they send out letters about making too much noise and saying words that make baby jesus cry while supporting the team. They produce shirts of such poor quality my dog won't sleep on them and refuse to let us back in the East End (spritual home-where you are now-yes its a cowshed, but its OUR cowshed) until the crowds get bigger. The stewards for tonights game have automatic weapons on them and should any of us stand up the first few rounds will be above our heads.
Which team do you want to beat this season the most and why?
All of them. Seen the table lately? We are up shit creek sonny.
2 high profile signing in the summer? whats gone wrong with them?
Only the two high profile signings? We got told four...no seven.
Should you have got rid of Danny Wilson? 
No. We should have had him shot and wounded first and then chased through Ashton Park by starving dogs with Brighton shirts and Leroy Lita masks on
What sort of line up can we expect from you?
Whoever turns up sober and hasn't been nicked for scrapping in town christmas eve
Who’s your strongest/weakest link?
Steve Brooker and we take it in turns with the weakest link. It keeps everyone guessing and is therefore more fun
What’s your predicted score?
'Jesus christ here we go again, well six points before christmas was very nice'
Who’s going up?
Rotherham United. Anyone that gives me space to vent this kind of rubbish deserves to have their asses kissed
Who’s going down?
Presently Swinedon then us. What the hell's the matter with you? Can't you understand a simple league table?
And finally….Meat and tatty, Beef n Onion or Balti?
At my age son solids pass through me quicker than talent through Rovers. Mashed banana and Complan