With the pinnacle of the IFA season, the 64 team Worldnet Tournament less than a month away reigning champions and league winners, Internet Millers have named their pre-tournament squad although they have surprised many people by naming just 17 players.
The squad is made up mostly of last year's squad with one notable exception- the omission of midfielder Gareth Elliott, who has been sensationally axed by manager Steve Burns thought to be because of two year's of gay jibes. Elliott has been a virtual ever present this season in central midfield and his omission looks set to send shockwaves around the IFA community in the build up to this year's tournament.
Elliott was today “unavailable for comment” and in the wake of his axing, is thought to be planning a holiday in Ibiza when the tournament is on. Andy Parker and Symon Pratt are the only other two members of the 2005 winning team not to be going whilst there are first time inclusions for Craig Bramhall, known to the world as Sharpy and the two Gilby brothers with new addition Si set to fill Gaz Elliott's space in midfield. The selection in the squad of midfielder Adis Kassam is set to be seen as a controversial one after his ‘no show' at last year's tournament angered IMFC officials to the point where his contract was close to being terminated. Below is the full squad list.
Mark Woollass
Andrew Gilby
Martin Dent
Steven Yeardley
Paul Elliott
James Dudhill
Darren Ferguson
Joe Roebuck
Lee Sentence
Si Gilby
Dan Bennett
Adis Kassam
Jonathan Veal
Jamie Elliott
Craig Bramhall
Steven Burns
Chris North
Below are some selected pen pic profiles
Mark Woollass
Position: Goalkeeper
Also Known As: Shark
Strengths: Eating
Weaknesses: Driving
Comment: Can Shark emulate his epic 2005 Worldnet display?
Previous Worldnets: 1
Martin Dent
Position: Defender
AKA: Denti
Strengths: Attention to detail
Weaknesses: Sugar
Comment: Will Captain Dent still be pissed when it comes to the Donny game?
Previous Worldnets: 3
Joe Roebuck
Position: Defender/Striker when we are absolutely desperate/water boy
AKA: Jebu
Strengths: Talking football strategies and the like on Internet messageboards
Weaknesses: Talking football strategies and the like on Internet messageboards
Comment: Does anyone know where Jebu will be playing?
Previous Worldnets: 3
Dan Bennett
Position: Midfielder/Defender
AKA: Benno, The Rash
Strengths: He likes everyone, don't you pal?
Weaknesses: Under the thumb
Comment: Dan was famously chasing a girl at the last worldnet, now he has one will he stop giving silly free kicks away?
Previous Worldnets: 3
Jonathan Veal
Position: Winger
AKA: JV
Strengths: His dad buys the champagne
Weaknesses: His left knee, retired car salesmen
Comment: Can the lad with the Golden Touch make it two Worldnets out of two?
Previous Worldnets: 1
Adis Kassam
Position: Midfielder
AKA: Adis
Strengths: He has access to guns should anyone need one
Weaknesses: The hair, those gloves and his watch
Comment: Is Adis actually going to turn up this year?
Previous Worldnets: 2
Steve Burns
Position: Striker
AKA: Burnsy
Strengths: His knowledge of real ale
Weaknesses: Suffered depression after a life changing weekend away
Comment: Can the big man go out with a bang by beating his 12 goals of last year?
Previous Worldnets: 3
Keep checking back for more exclusive stories in the build up to this year's Worldnet Tournament.